I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis). What does this mean and how does it affect me? This from the MS Society:
Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is the most common disabling neurological condition affecting young adults. Around 85,000 people in the UK have MS.
MS is the result of damage to myelin - a protective sheath surrounding nerve fibres of the central nervous system.
When myelin is damaged, this interferes with messages between the brain and other parts of the body.
For some people, MS is characterised by periods of relapse and remission while for others it has a progressive pattern. For everyone, it makes life unpredictable.
Basically the way I generally describe MS is to imagine your brain and central nervous system as a computer. MS is very much like having a dodgy operating system which mostly works, but occasionally throws a spanner in the works and cocks everything up. This is why I refer to MS as Microsoft
The main symptoms I suffer from are sharp `electric shock` type pains which suddenly take hold, are quite severe and can - if they are in my head - literally knock me off my feet. They have been known to make me instantly vomit, pass out and feel quite spaced out. Usually they subside quite quickly, occasionally they last for hours. They are unpredictable and can come at any time without warning, affecting any part of my body. I also experience a lot of muscle twitching which whilst not being particularly painful can range from annoying to humorous, especially if they are in my face. It`s amazing when a part of your body where you never knew you had a muscle starts twitching for minutes at end.
MS can also affect your moods and I can switch from being quite happy-go-lucky to extremely angry within the space of seconds. I can at times get very emotional over the silliest thing and, although I`m loathe to admit it - being a bloke - I can burst into tears at the drop of a hat.
A lot of the time my head isn`t quite tuned in - by this I mean it`s almost as though I am drunk but without the fun. It`s quite hard to concentrate and takes a lot of effort to focus on one thing. It`s quite difficult to follow conversations unless they are one on one, being in the company of friends is very frustrating as I feel I can`t contribute or feel a part of the group.
I am constantly tired, physically, mentally and emotionally. Most days I have trouble walking and using my hands.
Why did I decide to share this? At this moment in time I`m quite lucid and can share and express the way I feel physically and emotionally - tomorrow I may not. See, that`s the thing with MS - you never know from 1 day to the next if and how it`s going to affect you. I realise I am quite lucky in that physically MS has not robbed me of my mobility and I can walk, albeit with difficulty some days. I mostly have my faculties intact. I have met fellow MS sufferers who are in a wheelchair and in a much worse state than I am. Luckily I have loved ones and friends who help, assist and push me to keep it together.
At this moment in time I`m experiencing more spaced out periods and am finding it more difficult by the day to concentrate. For example, if I`m involved in a conversation, something that was said a few moments ago feels like a much older memory to me - if you get my meaning, it`s very hard to describe. There are holes appearing in my memory and I find it increasingly difficult to remember the simplest thing. Somedays are better than others.
So there you have it, confirmation I`m losing the plot
I am running an MS Society here on PS3gamer. I hope to raise £500 over the course of the year. Feel free to contribute, it`s for a very good cause